Pretzels!

A beautiful thing happened today.

wait... just a quick background (and ever so subtle foreshadowing): if you didn't know this about me, I love pretzels.  Love them.  In all their wondrous forms:  twists, rods, sticks, nuggets, bites, sourdough, honey wheat, "olde" fashioned, crackers (yeah, that's right pretzels crackers. they're delicious. get your facts straight)... and of course, the grand daddy of them all... The Soft Pretzel.  I get 'em at movies, I make 'em at home (you can buy a box of 10,000 of them--or some similar number--at costco), I get 'em wherever available from fine local retailers (formerly Einstein Bros until they bailed on that Cash Cow... fools!).  Most notably, they're a staple at the ballpark, even moreso that the ubiquitous hot dog.  I really love pretzels.  ... and with that in mind...

A beautiful thing happened today.

In what can only be construed as an obvious confession of guilt in response to my recent post exposing her as a diabolical genius, a heartfelt plea to make amends, and a desperate attempt to regain the upper hand in our battle of wills... all wrapped up into one undeniable act of love, Kelly decided to make homemade soft pretzels when I got home from work (I worked at REI... not the norm for Sunday, but a store meeting demanded my attendance).

The night began to unfold when I got this text driving home:



poop?  wait... that's guessing too far in advance.  umm... something unhealthy for me?  Well... yes, but not as bad as some alternatives (cake, cupcakes, pie, cookies, granola-bars-of-death, etc).

That's right.... PRETZELS!!!

I got to help make them when I got home.  It really was a fun little "couple project" (the kind of canned crap you would see on some lame dating show... except it was actually fun) ... rolling dough, twisting the pretzel, poaching, salting, baking, and of course ... eating.  mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... fresh-baked pretzels.

pre-poach/bake:


lots of pretzels

and post-bake:


Three things I'm "repping" in this image: the ludicrously useful "Ove'-Glove", a simply unfettered almost unthinkable amount of excitement, and... um... yep, a thumbs-up.  That's a winning photograph.

As you can see, they come in all shapes and sizes.  You might say this is because they were not rolled and twisted expertly.  But I'd like to think of it as an analogous object lesson...

"You see, son, pretzels are just like people... they come in all different shapes and sizes"

"Is that why you're so fat, daddy?"

"No, that's because I'm lazy.  Oh, and because I'm about to down this whole pan of pretzels in about 4 minutes"

... hmmm, my analogy is breaking down... let's move on... (cue "Cat's in the Cradle" outro)

Are they healthy?  I'm really not sure.  Obviously, they're pretty high in carbohydrates... but not much else.  It's mostly flour and water.  I did of course insist, after baking, that we give them the "Auntie Anne's treatment"... which mainly consists of brushing on some melted butter.  And then I may or may not have eaten a LOT of them.  Really, a jarring amount of pretzels.  So let's retry the above question with a more honest and accurate answer... Are they healthy?  I don't really care.  They're delicious.

Great day.

I didn't run like I was hoping, but between church, some work around the house, watching some basketball, and working at REI... I sort of ran out of time... in a cowardly, weaselly, wimpy sort of way.  Distance: 0

Food was good for the first half of the day.  Cereal for breakfast, veggies and hummus for lunch.  Had some pizza at REI at the all-store meeting (management splurge), and then of course ate half my weight in pretzels when I got home... might have even washed it down with a beer (c'mon... pretzels and beer!  I would say "that's like such and such foods together" and make some comparison, but literally nothing compares to the combination of pretzels and beer.  Who could blame me?!)  Food: B-

Weight: 228.4 lbs. (I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that number rises for tomorrow, considering I had roughly 40 thousand grams of carbohydrates after 10pm).