If Time Is Relative... So Is Speed.

note: This will be a sort of “part 2”… with the first installment being yesterday’s post.

I last left you with the lingering stench of my failure in the arboretum. A measly 14 seconds kept me from the immortal glory… of barely making the top ten on an obscure social media site focusing on an obscure sport…

Anyway, despite the recognizable absurdity of my endeavor, and my subsequent recent failure, I knew I needed another shot. This year, the Tour holds its Time Trial on the penultimate day of the race – July 26th (sidenote: I love the word “penultimate”). In the past I had “time trialed” a course of my choosing that was pretty flat and try to keep the speedometer up in the mid-20s. But this time, it would be in the (comparatively) hilly arboretum.

I’ve addressed “speed” in my previous post, but it warrants reiteration: speed is relative. Keeping it over 20mph on the flats (or certainly in a paceline) is no great feat… but *averaging* over 20mph in the arboretum would be very fast… for me anyway. Here’s partly why:

The hills aren't tall, but there's some quazi-legit steepness there

So the day has been set. It’s embarrassing, but honestly I woke up feeling nervous. Nervous. Note: there is no one watching me… no one except Kelly even knows I’m attempting this. I have no explanation or excuse for why I feel nervous. But I do. I want to do well.

I get into the arboretum, start up my “TT” playlist (for the curious: “Helter Skelter” and “Bullet the Blue Sky” off Rattle & Hum, Pearl Jam's rendition of "Love Reign O'er Me", and then a couple Foo Fighter songs. That should be all the time I need).

I hammer up the first hill, still over 20mph halfway up. This is fast. But my legs feel weak. Not in pain… just not CAPABLE of what I want to happen. Turn those pedals! Come on legs!

I’m pretty fast through the West side (the arboretum is split into two sides: West and East). But I was fast through the West side last time. The East has a long gradual rise (false flat)… and THAT’s where I need to make up time. The side starts with a good climb. I’m slow. I can feel the pain and deadness in my legs. SHOOT… that’s gonna cost me time.

Pulling into the flat, I get as low as I can and try to keep my cadence (pedal speed) up. I’ve GOT to make time here. Spin Spin Spin.

I hit the last rise before a long descent starts, knowing I need every second I fly downhill – still pedaling hard. Near the bottom of the hill, I see a security car. He's going slower than me... ummm... yup, okay, I'm gonna have to pass him. Can't slow down now, I'm under two miles to the finish! He sees me and pulls to the side.

I pass him in the mid-20s. The speed limit is 20.  He hits the loudspeaker on his car…

"The speed limit is 20! Please slow down!"

Luckily, I’m pulling up to a steep-ish hill. I point at the hill and wave. It slows me down to about 17mph… but as soon as it’s over, it’s all downhill to the finish. Plus, there are 3 stop signs near the parking lot and the route ends on the other side of those signs. I am 100% certain that I am blowing through all 3 stop signs… above the speed limit.

I start having thoughts flash through my head: if this guy sees me run those stop signs is he gonna pull me over? Since I didn't heed his warning, will he cut up my arboretum card and ban me for life?! I love the arboretum. Oh no!

Doesn’t matter. Totally worth it.

I’m beyond reason at this point. All I know is that my time looks good. I might actually do this.

"so you’re saying there’s a chance…"

I get to the bottom of the hill. About half a mile of flat. I have one recurring thought: “Fourteen seconds. Fourteen seconds. Fourteen seconds.” I’m going all out – what if I’m a second short?

I pass what I think is the finish line but keep going (strava can be finicky with its finish lines). When I finally stop, the garmin tells me 7.66 (a quarter mile extra) and my time is 21:44. Unofficially, I have it… unless something went wrong. I won’t know for sure until I upload it to strava at home (and the ride home will be sloooowwww - my legs are fried).

Upon upload… SUCCESS!

21:14 – 20.9mph average – top 5! 

… and the crowd goes wild! Oh wait… no crowd. Welp, meeting goals feels good, even when they’re trivial and ultimately not that impressive. One man’s PR is another man’s easy recovery day. Or however that saying goes.

I realize this entire post has a relatively high potential to come off as braggy, but let me remind you that this is a blog wherein I once celebrated running 3 miles without stopping… so it’s really a story more of progress than triumph. That said, I don’t do much very well, athletically speaking: I’m not sure if I can bench the bar, or curl a gallon of milk in each hand (I also apparently don’t know how to use regular weights), and Lord knows I am not fleet-a-foot on the track. But here’s the thing… considering my other athletic shortcomings, I am disproportionally fast on my bicycle. Much faster than you’d think, and much faster than many others who are in much better shape. I like being fast… even if it's just "fast, for me".